What Kind of Heroes Make Your Teeth Itch?

You know what I mean? The guys who go beyond rubbing you the wrong way. The guys you want to kick or punch just for being an ass. The ones, as I asked, who make your teeth itch to bite them, and not in the sexy good way.

For me, it’s not the stupid assholes. Guys who are stupid are a waste of time and should, by rights, be a secondary or villainous character rather than the romantic hero. Guys who think that hurting a woman or treating her like shit, they’re just dumb and almost worth pitying. Almost, but not quite. Don’t get me wrong, they deserve to be punched or throttled or your choice of punishment.

But the guys who really deserve it, the ones who get on my every last nerve? Entitled alpha men. The ones who aren’t entirely bad. They can’t be, because if they were just bad then women wouldn’t want them. Or, if they did, that just meant that the woman was dumb and was worthy of pity — maybe. No, these assholes have some redeeming qualities, some bits and pieces that make up an almost human whole. The almost perfect guy. Except he thinks he’s god. Probably because people have told him he’s god. Almost every — truly, every one I can think of — politician falls into this category. If you read paranormals, it’s the uber alpha male who only has to think at one of his pack members to expect obedience, when he often hasn’t done a thing to deserve it. Or, if you read contemporary, the apex males who own the world and proceed to think they get to own the women they supposedly love. (Yes, I’m including a certain popular hero in a current series of supposed romantic movies). The guys who, just by their very existence, expect and force the world to mold to their preference. What makes it worse is that these guys usually think of themselves as martyrs, like they don’t want to be like that but they just are.

Grrr. I don’t get it! They’re awful and conceited and mean.

Now, I’ve written alpha males and a few of them have wandered into the bicuspid irritation territory, but I like to think I’ve pulled them back into safe(r) territory. Dear gods, I really hope I’ve brought them back! Oh, I’ve written assholes, on purpose, but surely they’re all redeemable? Even the borderline ones like Krael and Salin or even Johnnie — as some have pointed out to me — did their share of changing and made their sacrifices for the one they loved. If they dominated, there were valid reasons. I hope?

Anyway, there’s my rant for the week. When I pick up a book with one these kinds of guys, I rarely finish it. It’s a fine line that some authors walk/write well and that can be highly enjoyable, but there are more who just don’t and make the romance a farce that I can’t abide.

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